How a Small-Town Misfit Became a Celebrity Hair Artist
I didn’t even know it happened.
I was just doing hair.
In beauty school, they forbid us to talk about 3 things….politics, religion and SEX.
What else was there to talk about?
As you know about me already, I got lots of bad grades for talking too much.
So, when they told me I couldn’t talk about politics, religion or sex, I was shocked! People talk about that while getting a haircut?
I had loads of other things to talk about, and I’m like anyone else, I guessed. I like to talk about things I know and can be right about.
What do I mean?
I’m good with hair.
I think like a hair.
I look at a hair, and imagine if I were it, what would “I say,”
Hmmm. if I were shorter, longer, curlier, less curly and where will I go, or grow over the next few weeks! So, it was EASY to talk about hair!
Of course, I say that I’m like anyone else, but not EVERYONE else.
What do I mean?
He who likes to talk about things so they can be “right” about it.
You know.
People who, no matter what subject, pick a postion in the matter and every thing they say is to prove that they are right about that position in the matter, even if it’s clearly not true, correct or accurate.
BUT, they rail on because if they admit they are wrong, it’s as if they are going to get found out about something they are hiding. And, we all “have a friend” who we know is hiding something small but make a big deal of it to make you think otherwise — another story for another time. LOL..
So, what did I talk about in beauty school?
Hair.
And who doesn’t like a stylist who talks about YOUR hair?
So, I was non-stop.
With a 100,000 average hairs on each head, I had at least that many hairs to talk about, to talk to, and to listen to as I would shampoo, comb, twist, cut, twirl, mash, push, lift, detangle, curl, stretch, scrunch, swirl, shape, mold, color, tease, smooth, iron — -so much so, that I’d sometimes forget that there was even a person attached to it!
Of course, I’d check in to see what the host wanted of their hair, but that was only guidelines for what I would see for their hair, and especially what their hair might agree to or not. I quickly learned that the hardest part was telling little Miss 3-Hair-Per-Square-Inch Karen, that without extensions and wigs, she would NOT look like Cher. Even Cher doesn’t look like Cher with loads of wigs, fillers, makeup, surgery, fighting aging and suffering as she is happy to tell you if you ever make it to one of her “final concerts!” (Favorite line in her opening monologue, I remember as she is about to belt out her “Strong Enough” hit, she said after telling how awful it is to fight aging….”So, what’s your Granny doing tonight?”)
So, as you can tell, I have no problem with something to talk about. As far as politics, religion, and sex?
Don’t make me laugh!
Politics to me was essentially about the economy. At 18 years old, it was a setting on my air conditioner in my maroon 1976 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, which meant it did not run the compressor, which makes the air cold, so as to save money during the oil crisis times. In South Texas no airconditioning is a sin and completely unnatural. So, I avoided conversations about economy and politics. Easy enough.
Religion. Raised Catholic in a small town full of non-stop suppression? I learned that quickly when I kept asking what they said were too many questions. Like, when Jesus was born, why didn’t Santa Claus show up at the manger — was it because there were no chimneys in the rooms, or were there “no rooms at the inn” after the 3 Wisemen arrived? And so on.
Sex. Well, let’s just say, the religious folks definitely hammered the ideas of sex being a loaded heap of trouble. And, with the drugs of the 60’s, the 70’s sexual awakening of society, it made good sense to heed and hide under the teachings of the “religious right.” So rather than ask the nice lady about why her pool boy took so long to “clean her pool” or ask the nice lady’s husband why he thought the pool boy took so long to clean the pool while he was at work, I quickly figured out that politics, religion, and sex belonged in one category…..silence.
By the way, I had no idea how profoundly correct my beauty school teachings were, as I will lay out for you in a moment.
So, if they wanted to talk about the dreaded 3?
Fine.
But I’m going to come right back with an answer about hair, because that was all I ever talked about with my stylist from the 6th grade on when I would teach her how to cut my hair properly. (Another story for later.)
So the client might mention how tough money is during the economic downturn. I’d say, “Oh my. Well I am going to cut your hair to grow in better than ever in case you can’t afford to come back in 4 weeks and want to push it to 5 or 6 weeks to save up some money for me!”
Or.
She might say, “I found the Lord and we are having a Saturday evening potluck and I’d love for you to come break bread with us and be saved.
“Oh, thank you so much, but you know we Catholics have Mass on Saturday evenings. That’s when my grandmother goes, so I do her hair for that, and I could never say no to her. You know she’s getting older, but looking fantastic! In fact, let me add a kick to your hair like I did for her so you can get even more compliments than ever!”
Or.
When are you planning to get married and have a family?
“I promised myself I wouldn’t do anything about that until I get my beauty license, so that I can make enough money to do all the right things. And, speaking of right things, I’ve been studying your hair growth pattern and I am pretty sure I’ve figured out how to make your hair last longer and look better than ever!”
I went to the 2nd best beauty school in Texas in 1982. #1 was out of my price range, and it wasn’t like there was a Harvard of hair at the time. Of the 100’s of beauty schools in Texas alone, I just needed to get to a good one, and boy did I find the right one, as you will find out in more of my unbelievable stories that will curl your hair.
I knew that all beauty schools had to deliver the basics so that I could pass the state board exam, so it was up to me to get the basics and steal the finest details I possibly could. So, in one sense, picking a school was like picking your nose. Any finger works, so just pick.
I asked my stylist and she referred me to her client’s cousin who owned the #2 school at the time. Though we had a beauty school in my hometown, after I met the owners of #2, even though it was in Kerrville, hundreds of miles away, it was the right one to pick!
And, so..
After the first month, I was unprecedentedly promoted to the “salon clinic floor” to work on paying customers! By the time I went to take my exam at State Board, I was awarded “Student of the Month” for 8 months in a row.
I was then scholarshiped into Advanced Training of Pivot Point Interational, a rival to Vidal Sasoon’s methodology at the time. I was then fast-tracked into “Cosmetology Instructor” training at the ripe age of 19 and was hired into the family salon by the daughter of the school’s owners the day I got my original license.
One day, I mentioned to her that I felt like she had played favorites, in a sense, because I never filled out an application to work for her.
She told me that her dad said to her, “Hire him fast. He’s going places and you don’t want to miss out. I’ve never seen anyone like him. He can do hair but he can take anything said to him and turn it into a conversation about hair and that’s something rare.”
To some it could be boring.
To some it could be an insult.
To some it could be called simple.
To me though, it’s just what I do.
It’s just how I think.
It’s just what I love.
It’s just life.
So, fast forward today……
As the politicians are warring over riots and wars…
As the religious are praying for peace and righteousness of their beliefs…
As the others are demanding Epstein lists…
I’m talking hair.
As far as I can tell, those issues kind of keep on keeping on.
And, like I said earlier, I don’t want to become one of those people who, no matter what subject, pick a postion in the matter and every thing they say is to prove that they are right about that position in the matter, even if it’s clearly not true, correct or accurate.
So, as I say these days….
“I can’t help you with the problems you’re dealing with today, but I can make you look your hair its absolute best so that you can get on with your life and look good doing so!”
Oh, maybe I will make a religous comment.
Maybe God just made me, this small town misfit, this way on purpose!
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